Give Thanks Daily: How to remember the past for the good of the future

Your thankfulness is not consistent enough.  Neither is mine.  I want to fix this problem, but I can’t do it alone.  I need your help.  You need your help.  

The problem I have identified is reparable, but it’s really hard.  I’ve noticed that thanksgiving is more than a holiday.  Ironically, it was always my favorite holiday growing up.  Food and football (even before the first night game in 2006), enough said.  

I learned about the American holiday of Thanksgiving in school (many other countries also celebrate their version of this holiday).  I know about the Pilgrims, Puritans, and the Continental Congress.  But, beyond a national holiday, thanksgiving is important in our daily lives.  It took me years to figure this out.  

According to TLEX Institute, we have sixty thousand thoughts per day.  That’s cool.  But, 80 percent of them are negative!  95 percent are repeated from the previous day.

You mean that most of the time I’m just thinking repeated negative thoughts?  Honestly, I think that’s dumb.  But, that’s negative!  Apparently, it’s also natural.

We have to fix our thought patterns.  

We do it by giving thanks.  This will help in two ways.

It creates positivity in the present and keeps the good things from the past fresh.

Creating Positivity in the Present

It may seem obvious, but we like to have fun.  We like enjoyable activities.  Television, streaming services, movies, and video games are all huge industries because people are looking for entertainment.  Some call it an “escape.”  

I’m not a big fan of looking for an “escape.”  I’d prefer to make wherever I am more enjoyable.  

Have you ever had someone thank you for something?  You have.  It felt good.  It made you feel wanted, possibly needed.  You provided something and it potentially made you want to repeat your action.  

There are three wins here (not from episode 12 of Speaking of Impact and John Balkam’s 3 Win Sponsorship, but similar idea).  First, you are doing something good for somebody.  Second, you feel good about it.  And third, you’re likely to do it for another person (or the same person again).  This is why Generosity is Said to be Contagious.

If the person you helped was not thankful (or didn’t express it), it’s possible that the positivity would have ended at that point.  The thanksgiving is key.  So, next time someone does something for you, give thanks.  Make sure they know how much you appreciate what they did.

Keeping the Good Things from the Past Fresh

It depends on your age, but it’s likely that you have had thousands of good things done for you.

First of all, you have life.  This is amazing.  You may also have family, friends, possessions, and health.  Each of these things can, but should not be taken for granted.  

In addition to the things mentioned above, there are a lot of things that you have experienced over the years that deserve recognition.  They may have received it in the moment.  But, what about now?  Many of those things aren’t any less worthy of thanks now than they were before.  They are just not top of mind.  

I believe that many of the things worthy of thanks that we have received actually gain value as time goes on.  They lose mindshare, but grow in worth.  

As time goes on, the benefits of the opportunities that we have been given are compounded.  You have accomplished more today than you had a year ago.  

You must consider your first break because it lead to the second, and the third, and so on.  In reality, the first chance is the most important.  This is why I believe that life is the greatest gift that we’ve been given.  Without it, we’d have nothing else.  

One way to keep the blessings of the past fresh is to take a moment and remember you are alive everyday.  

When I was eighteen I was diagnosed with testicular cancer.  It spread to my abdomen.  The details of that time of my life are documented on episode 1 of Speaking of Impact.  Most importantly for this context, life quickly became a lot more precious.

I like to think that I learn something everyday.  If I truly have sixty thousand thoughts daily, then I should be picking up something new.  

As you get older, things tend to slow down.  You just don’t realize it until you look back a ways.  At eighteen, I probably had 120 thousand thoughts everyday, but it took me two days to learn something.  The mind is older now, but more efficient.

Most would say that childhood or adolescent cancer is terrible.  It is.  But I can’t say it’s worse than any form of adult cancer.  For me, it was great.  I know that’s a strong statement. 

My experience with severe illness at a young age was life changing.  However, it was not immediate.  

Many cancer treatments that I am privy to these days last for years.  They involve ingestibles and have aspects of prevention.  I know people who are taking pills for five years to prevent future disease.   

My cancer treatments lasted about three months.  It was intense.  After my initially surgery, I had started a schedule with a week of chemo therapy followed by ten days of filgrastim shots (it’s used to boost your white blood cell count and help your immune system).  

Have you ever given yourself a shot?  It’s a miracle they trusted me with anything related to an injection, let alone the needle.  After those ten days, I had four days of recovery.  I almost felt normal by then.  Just in time to start it all over again.  

I completed the process four times.  The last day of chemo was rather anticlimactic.  I felt done, but wasn’t sure if it actually worked.  And I still had to take ten days of shots.  

My final shot was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.  The skin and muscles of my thighs had become extraordinarily resilient by then.  I had taken thirty-nine shots at that point (in addition to countless other needles, this was prior to the ports that can be connected to an intravenous bag).  I could not suppress the needle into my skin.  At that point, the body was feeling pretty good and my mental state was more about pushing through and kicking cancer in the teeth (kind of like kicking down the door when opportunity knocks) than carefully navigating my illness.  I ordered my concerned mother out of the room (Have you ever told your mom to leave the room in a not so nice way?).  Once she had left I cleared some space and prepared for the most unacceptable method of self-injection.  

Have you ever imagined what a steroid-raging body-builder does when injecting themself in some sort of Hollywood produced action film?  That was what eighteen year-old (not appearing so steroid augmented at that point) Bobby looked like.  I jumped as high as I could (probably 7 inches then), let out a primal scream, and simultaneously landed on an ottoman and plunged the needle into my skin.  Truthfully, it was a pretty well coordinated movement.  Then, for what seemed like an eternity, I stared at the syringe and plunger sticking out of my leg.  I smashed the plunger, inject ed the drugs, and ripped the needle out of my leg.  In my moment of triumph, I launched the syringe up against the wall and said some things I’m not so proud of.  

After I won the final needle battle, I invited Mom back into the room.  She was as white as ghost.  I said, “It’s done.”  She said nothing.  She didn’t need to.  Or, maybe she couldn’t. 

I needed a minute to cool off.  I’m assuming Mom cleaned up and put the syringe in the hazmat box like I was supposed to.  She must’ve thrown away the alcohol wipes and closed the container (by that point, I hated that smell).  I was thankful it was over.

Shortly after that I had a CT Scan to determine if the treatment was successful.  It was.  I was joyous.  More than thankful.

You might think that I thought about what I went through everyday for the next year or my entire time in college.  In actuality, when my spring semester started the following calendar year, I dove right into sports and education.  I just needed a break from medical things and cancer protocols.

Looking back, a busy college schedule was the best thing for me.  It allowed me to catch up to my classmates and teammates.  It taught me lessons of time management, self-control, and leadership.  

I finally “came up for air” two years after my sickness.  I was a junior now and had managed to free up some mental space to reflect on what happened my freshman year.  I had some very quiet periods of time, which to this day are pretty rare for me.  I don’t do well in silence.  But, I did then.  I thought about my life, health, and what would have been had modern medicine not been available.  I realized that it was not by my own power that I beat cancer.  I believe there was divine power in my strength.  I believe that the doctors, nurses, my family, and my friends all contributed to the cause.  From that point forward, every day was Thanksgiving for me.

Not everyone has a near-death illness related experience.  But we all have things and people that help us along our life’s journey.  There are people who teach us.  There are people who provide us with a platform or opportunity.  There are many things to be thankful for.  

Everyday, my thanks for surviving cancer grows stronger.  Everyday I accomplish something more and I credit it to life.  I almost lost mine at eighteen.  Now every breath builds on the blessing it is.  

I urge you to put habits in place in your life that credit the things and people in your life who have led you to today.  The present would not exist without the past.

Think of the impact we could make if we went from eighty percent negative thoughts a day to just fifty percent.  30,000 daily positive thoughts could go a long way.  Remember, it’s contagious.

My first suggestion is to give thanks to a different person for something different everyday.  Keep it fresh and spread the love.  If you’re totally off the grid and you can’t do that, celebrate something great in your life.  Relive some terrific memories, write them down or prepare a message to give to someone who was involved when you can.  

These days it seems like every day is an official holiday.  There is a special day for everything.  I am writing this on National Techies and National Boyfriend Day (October 3rd, why do those two groups share a day?).  Did you know that you are likely reading this entry on National Eat Fruit at Work Day?  Yes, it IS the first Tuesday in October.  

Here’s one final suggestion.  Celebrate your birthday even if you’re ninety-five years old.  It means even more now!  I know Chuck-E-Cheese just filed for bankruptcy, but there are plenty of ways to throw a party.  You deserve it and so do the people around you.

Thanks for reading!