Bob DePasquale

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Pros Get Help, Amateurs Don’t

Impactmakers love helping other people!


But, we don’t love helping ourselves.


See these 17 Empowering Self Help Industry Statistics.  


$18.6 million in sales in 2019!


I think we have well established that it’s important to care for yourself.  Society had put “self” secondary for so long that the market was starving for encouragement.  I don’t deny it and I think encouragement is great.  In fact, the impactmaker movement is part of the self-help movement. 


I want people to take such good care of themselves that they can help be kind to others.  When your well-being is prioritized you tend to share it.  It’s just like when you have a nice possession.  You want to share it with people.  


The Great News


I have some great news for you.  Self-help does’t always have to come from you.  Seems counterintuitive, I know.  

Greatness comes in community.


The best business owners, non-profit leaders, and impactmakers all understand that they can’t do it alone.  They may be great managers, coaches, and mentors.  But, they are also great teammates, players, and mentees.  In reality, it’s the second list that helped them rise to the top of their profession.  They allowed themselves to be led, coached, and mentored.  Throughout those processes, they were educated and gained the necessary experience to share with the next generation.



Part of our responsibility at Initiate Impact is to help families with their intergenerational relationships.  It is vitally important for people with ownership over the same things to have relatable interest and similar thought processes as of how to handle things.  It doesn’t mean they have to think exactly alike or always agree (in fact, that would be counterproductive).  But, they have to be able to communicate well in regards to what they are stewards of and they have to support each other.



My news is simple.  There are other impactmakers to help you.  E-Impact 61 talked about recruiting some of those people.  This is perhaps simpler than that.  Even the people who are full timers in your organization or impact project can still be of great help.  Here’s an example:



You are leading a group trying to feed homeless people in your town.  You have a recruited a team of five people to help out.  Unfortunately, you are having trouble finding a place to set up once a week and provide meals.  Some problems you might run into are:



-Your church is uncomfortable having additional people on its campus the nights you want to serve.

-The city will not allow you to set up at the spot you chose.

-The Health and Safety Administration says the place is unfit for food.

-The company donating the food cannot get the food to the location.



I’ve heard all of these before but none are reasons to completely give up.  There are definitely other people serving the homeless.



The State of Homelessness in America alone is staggering (over 550,000 people as of 2017 are estimated to be homeless).  I am writing this as I sit in the airport on the way home from finconexpo.com in Austin.  I noticed a fare share of homeless people throughout the week.  Unfortunately, there are still a half a million more throughout the country.  

Ask someone else who is successfully serving meals as to how they set their system up.  Or, ask someone working on a completely different type of project but needed to secure a venue what they did.  



You can find “self-help” outside of yourself and even outside of your team.



The First Step



They say the first step to conquering a problem is recognizing it.  I would say that most impactmakers first step into the world of kindness in identifying a problem.  This means that if you’re reading this blog, you’ve likely already identified a problem and at the least you’ve identified a problem in the past.  It’s something your caring heart and brain naturally acknowledge.



Therefore, the real first step for the biggest issues is admitting that you can’t fix them alone.  The biggest help that you can give yourself is to consult someone else with experience.



The Tech World



I mentioned being in Austin for a conference.  See the weblink provided for more information on an awesome gathering.  In short, it was about financial content-people sharing financial advice over the internet channels that we have these days.  Technology was not the main focus but it was certainly part of it.  It was fitting that it was in Austin because the tech space here is growing rapidly.  Many startups are moving from Silicon Valley down here for numerous reasons (perhaps the biggest is the better tax situation).   

One of my favorite tech people to learn from is Steve Jobs.  I’ve mentioned him in E-Impact before and I also wrote a story about him in my book, “Personal Finance in a Public World”.  Honestly, I don’t care too much about his technology.  I’m a well-known PC and Android supporter (over Jobs’ Apple), despite typing this on a MacBook.  It was Jobs’ desire to succeed and provide a world changing product that is inspiring.  He once said:



"It doesn't make sense to hire smart people and tell them what to do; we hire smart people so they can tell us what to do.”



He may have taken my suggestion a step farther.  He took the people that could help who were not part of his organization and made them part of it.  That’s a testament to the company.  It was and still is desirable for which to work.



I’m not saying to poach the best people from your competitors.  But, I am saying to actively seek the options and ideas of other credible impactmakers. 



My Favorite Way to Learn



There has been a lot of debate over the years as to how we should teach children.  My wife is a kindergarten teacher so I have heard over the years about different ways to educate.  See Montessori education for an example.



I am not an educational professional.  I suppose the best type of education depends on the person.  One kid might need a more structured private school environment where another might need social interaction with local kids in a public school.  If I ever have kids, I’m sure my wife and I will rack our brains about what to do.



From the mind of a novice, I say experiential learning is the best.  The December 1, 2020 E-Impact entry seems to be coming up a lot.  Indelible lessons are memorable because there is an experience.  They’re more than words or movements.  They’re felt.

If we take it back to the feeding the homeless example, it makes sense to go serve as part of another project.



Would you want your first time running a food pantry event to be the first time you’ve ever seen that sort of thing?



I fear that this example is almost too obvious.  But, maybe it’s not something we think of related to less popular projects.  I am in no way minimizing the importance of feeding the hungry.  However, it’s not a new idea.  



What if you have a project that’s less popular or even pioneering?  You may not have another event that you can witness near you at all.  In that case, you may have to try to find something similar (like the food pantry leader going to medical care event for the homeless or some other public gathering).  



The idea is that you will likely have to be creative in your seeking help as you are probably working on something that has not received enough attention (that’s why you are).  



Help Me (Them) Help You



Watch this clip from Jerry McGuire.  



“Help me help you”, was a classic line.  It resonates to this day.



In the impactmaker context, it means that we need to allow other people to help us.



We have covered the human desire to help people before.  This is where you give others the chance to do it.



It might not be easy to see, but you asking people for help is actually a way of making a positive impact in their life.  It’s helping them too!



Reaching all the way back to the September 22, 2020 you can see some more ways to attract people to your cause.  Notice the stress towards the end of helping your help help you.  I know that’s a mouthful.



The Compounding Effect



We know kindness is contagious.  Why not share it freely?  We do.



We also now know that helpfulness is contagious (I suppose it’s part of kindness). So, why not share it freely?  You will.



I am not one for guarantees in this crazy world.  However, I know an inevitable situation when I see one, and this one I’ve seen many times.



If you create a culture of assistance in and around your organization, you will find it easier to give and find help.  The people that you work with will not only be expected to help but they will naturally be more helpful.  They will find “help” early in their thought process not only because other people are executing it but because it is noticeably effective.



Check out Bit.AI’s blog entry on collaboration statistics.  There are 21 reasons why we should communicate more with our team.



Here’s another good entry from BizGroup.  It seems to me that we need to collaborate more because of the camaraderie first and the productivity second.  



You can be productive without camaraderie but camaraderie will lead to multiple benefits including increased production. 



Implemenation

As with most of the things we talk about in the blog, this concept is easy enough to implement immediately.  I also believe it’s one of those things that can and should rise to the top of the priority list quickly.  This is because it will positively effect your team in many areas.  



You are a professional impactmaker.  In many cases “professional” might indicate you are making money doing it.  That’s not always the case in the impact space but that doesn’t disqualify you as an impactmaker.  



You’re a pro.  An amateur would let the problem they have identified defeat them and their team.



Ask someone for help tomorrow.  I GUARANTEE it will work.